[Jason wouldn't mind living in a place like this. He'd love it, actually. It really does seem like Barry has everything he needs here, and it's a place of his own. Almost makes him wish he lived in Central City so he could hang out here with Barry all the time.
He snags the water and stick it under his arm, offering Barry his last bite of cupcake before he follows him around the place, trying to take in every last, very cool detail.]
Wait, wait you gotta show me more of your bedroom.
[Even if they might get stuck there? Maybe that's fine though? They have time, and Jason's feeling some kinda way right now.]
Do you run around in here? Like test out your suit and stuff?
[ Oh he absolutely figures they'll end up in there for An Extended Period Of Time, but. Jason wants to see his place so Jason is going to see his place... and the lack of much there to begin with in terms of multiple floors and rooms. ]
You really eager to unwrap your present, huh?
[ Teasing, he nods though and runs the tips of his fingers over his lips as he glances around. ]
Yeah, sometimes. I mean โ I have a pretty good handle on it now, but. It's a lot better to do that outside with more space, you know?
[ Good, good. As long as it's expected. As much as Jason wants to see everything and get to know all of Central City and everything Barry loves, but he also doesn't need a whole planned out schedule like what Bruce would do. He just wants to be with Barry in every way possible. ]
I'm not super known for being patient.
[ he smirks, but it's cool. he really is good with anything they do. he's already completely swept off his feat. his kinda riding this really good high right now. ]
Yeah, makes sense. So cool that you can go anywhere you want. But if I lived in this place? I'd never go anywhere, it's so cool.
Oh really? So you wouldn't even come to see me, huh?
[ He's teasing as he saunters his way on up to the other, grin on his lips, arms looping around that waist. Keeping Jason nice and close against him as he cocks his head to the side, that look of amusement still there on his face. ]
Because as cool as this place is... kinda think being with you is cooler.
[ Yeah he sounds like a dork and yeah he's sure chuckling a little at himself for it. But he also doesn't really care because... Jason is here. In his place and they have... well, not all the time in the world, but. Enough. At least for now and Barry intends to make the most of it. ]
A place this cool would only be this cool cause of you, you know.
[ Jason replies easily, more than happy to lean right into Barry when his arms loop around him. He bites at his lip, just watching him with this completely aroused look on his face. Barry's a dork, and Jason loves it. It does things to him.
He pulls his boyfriend in a little closer as he slides his arms around his shoulder, hips pressing forward casually. ]
Kinda wanna do you right now. Or you do me. I'm really good either way, as long as you give me a personal tour of your bed.
[ Because he can and he will... but not before sinking teeth into that bottom lip of his and deciding to be a little... mischievous what with those hips pressing into his so blatantly and all. So, leaning in, he hums as he drags his lips across Jason's cheek and along his temple, smiling as hands hold tight to the small of his back. ]
You're the birthday boy today. You get to have me however you want. If you want me on my knees sucking you off until you can't come anymore, I will. If you wanna fuck my face and feed me your cum until I can't take anymore, you can. If you wanna have my on my hands and knees and see how good I take your cock from behind, I can do that as many times as you'd like.
[ Grinning against the shell of Jason's ear, he smooths his hands down the other's sides and nips at his ear then, pulling back with an All Too Innocent look on his face. ]
Or I can do any of those things to you. It's your call. You're in charge. I'm here to please you in every way you want.
[ Jason lets out a low groan, letting his eyes fall closed as Barry moves his lips across his skin. He's never been loud before, never been one to make much noise at all while fucking- that would give too much of himself away- but with Barry? He doesn't hesitate to let him pull every kinda of sound out of him. It says a lot, even if Barry doesn't know it.
But holy fuck, Barry doesn't stop there, and Jason is a little embarrassed at how hard he gets from those words alone.
But even more so, when he thinks about what he really wants, and it isn't exactly any of those things. Not just yet, anyways.
He doesn't mean to shift his hips away, or let his gaze slide over to the rack of books rather than at Barry, or let his fingers curl into fists instead of letting them splay out against Barry's back. But there's still this whole fight or flight thing inside of him, and the way he swears he'd never want to trust anyone like this, and yet here he is. ]
[ Barry knows there's a softness within Jason that he doesn't usually let others see. He doesn't entirely know the reasons for it, but he knows that the other can be and is often guarded a lot of the time, even if some of those walls have been crumbling a bit ever since... all of this between them started.
There isn't a look of surprise or disappointment on his face when Jason suggests something softer. Rather, Barry pulls back just enough to be able to smile down to him and run a palm over his cheek, cradling his face as softly as Jason wants soft for his birthday. ]
We can do softer.
[ Letting the pad of his thumb brush under Jason's eye, he leans in to brush a tender kiss over those lips with the sweetest of hums on them. ]
We can do anything you want. [ A beat, he noses Jason. ] I can let you feel how much you mean to me.
[ Barry's gentle touch brings his gaze back, hesitantly. He should want all those other things Barry suggested- and he does, but- he wants this more. It's not something he ever really lets himself have. Or... didn't let himself before Barry came along.
He feels a little less of kilter when Barry agrees to it, and he can see that it's a genuine thing. Barry isn't rolling his eyes at his weak ass shit, or thinking he's like, losing his touch, or whatever.
In any other situation he might feel a little pathetic, which would probably lead to anger, but that's not the case here. Barry is already so soft with him- even before this, he realizes- and he relaxes back against him, fingers uncurling into the other man's hair. ]
[ Barry likes soft and slow as much as he likes quick and dirty and with Jason especially. That's how this all aort of started anyways. Jason suggesting he help him experience things a little slower in the moment. Somehow it's led them to this โ to everything theyvet been through and, Barry hopes, will continue to go through as the days carry on. So slow is perfectly fine with him. As is soft.
The smile he wears is that โ soft and he hums just the same when those fingers find themselves in his hair, arms holding right around that waist of his. ]
I'll show you then. [ Brushing the words against those lips. ] I'll make you feel it all, baby.
[ That's about all that Barry plans to say before he's gripping tight to Jason and, using a bit of his quick reflexes to add a bit of strength to his movements, he hoists Jason up against him, intending to carry him where Jason can slot and wrap his legs around his waist. ]
[ It's still kinda hard for Jason to believe that everything in his life has lead to things like this. Like Robin, and now Barry, and this chance to just be. He remembers telling Dick when they first met that he knew exactly who he was, but maybe that was only one side of him, because now? He feels like he's letting himself tap into even more.
He feels warm and soft at Barry's words, already feeling so into it. When does he not though, when it comes to Barry.
Jason's surprised when Barry hoists him up so easily, a soft laugh breathed out against Barry's lips as he moves his legs around his waist. ]
[ Smiling right back against those lips, Barry makes sure he has a tight enough hold on Jason before he starts to walk, carrying his boyfriend the birthday boy in the direction of his room โ which, by the way, is very much Out In The Open given the layout of the warehouse sort of loft life he lives.
He peppers Jason's face and neck in soft little kisses as he maneuvers around a couple things for his bed, the trip to it not all that long. When he's there, he gently drops Jason down on the edge of the bed and smiles warmly as he just stands there in front of him, letting hands softly cup the sides of his neck. ]
Tell me if it's ever too much for you, ok?
[ Words soft but with an understanding that this may be overwhelming, in a way, to Jason and the last thing he wants is for him to feel as if he's suffocating from something that he intends to be the physical show of how much he means to him.
Either way, he lets his hands smooth down the sides of that neck and brush over the front of Jason's shirt, Barry dropping down to his knees to slot himself there between Jason's legs, kissing at his neck and chest even with clothes still on. ]
[ Maybe not here here exactly, but here with Barry in every other way. This is something he desperately wants to hold on to, despite how much he knows he fucks things up. He feels like he's getting better at it though, at least with Barry.
Jason tightens his legs around Barry as he starts to move, letting him leave all those kisses against his skin. It all makes him smile. He can't stop smiling, actually.
He figures Barry's room is all out in the open, and that's pretty cool too. Not like they have to lock doors here like he's used to doing in the manor. They have all the privacy they want here. It helps to make Jason even more comfortable with what he's asked for, because this really is just them.
He looks up at Barry when he's set down on the bed, his hands sliding to the other man's waist, just up under his shirt. The fact that Barry even realizes that even though Jason asked for it, it might still be overwhelming... it means a lot to Jason, and he knows he made the right decision with all of this. ]
I will.
[ Jason doesn't take his eyes off Barry as he moves down to his knees between his legs, his own hands sliding up along his shoulders, caressing up along his neck. ]
[ Barry is slow and gentle with every single touch, kiss, and movement of his. He wants Jason to enjoy this in a way that doesn't overwhelm him (much) to the point of it being borderline uncomfortable. From the little he knows of his past and the way people perceive him more often than not, asking something like this from him โ to be shown in a physical way how much he means to the speedster โ is probably a little scary... maybe he doesn't even think he deserves it; he does, as far as Barry is concerned. But rather than assume any of this, Barry just has little cues to go off of with the time he's spent with Jason thus far and the last thing he wants is or him to feel as though any of this is rushed or simply given to him because he asked for it. That's not why he's doing this. It's because he does, truly, want to.
The smile he wears is still warm and soft as he looks up to Jason from between those legs. Fingers move slow and careful along the front of his shirt, dipping down to slip beneath the hem of it and let the tips of his fingers ghost along warm skin then beneath the material. Barry hums softly, just watching Jason as he lets his fingers explore him underneath that shirt. ]
Want me to take this off?
[ He keeps his voice soft โ low. Eyes never really straying from the birthday boy's face as he draws little patterns across his skin beneath his shirt, occasionally letting them drop to the waistband of those pants. ]
lol sorry for this jason dump of emotions in the middle of sexy tiems xD
It's an odd thing for him to ask for, really, but right now it's all he wants. With Barry it's all he wants. His boyfriend isn't wrong, though. It's fucking scary, and a lot to think about, so he doesn't really think about it. He just lets himself feel it, which is something he's better at. Better at, because he feels things so intensely, so readily. Doesn't mean that's always good. In this case, though, it very much is.
Feeling things has always been too much for Jason in general, but if he can focus it, funnel it into something good instead of fucked up and angry, then... there's this.
Jason knows he doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve a lot of what he has, but he's a survivor, and sometimes that means taking things he doesn't deserve, otherwise what'll happen to him? He'll waste away. He doesn't want to waste away. He wants to fit. He wants to belong. He wants to be loved. He sure as shit knows he's terrible at loving back, but... he's trying. He's trying so hard.
Barry makes it so much easier.
Jason can't take his fiery blue eyes off of Barry, sucking his lower lip into his mouth as the other man's hands travel up under his shirt, along his skin. He nods, lifting his hands from Barry's shoulders so he can take his shirt off, a soft smile on his face at the way Barry asks. Such a damn turn on. ]
[ Despite his being a speedster, Barry finds soft and slow moments like these to be just as favored and enjoyable. Taking the time to savor the moment and all the little sounds and expressions Jason both makes and gives to him... there's nothing else like that. Nothing he can find within the speed force or the handful of seconds life can often ends up being to him. To purposefully slow down and take pleasure in all the little things in life... he'd needed more of that in his life in a way he hadn't quite managed to find on his own. With Jason, however, he comes to see he can find those moments โ wants to have them more and more.
When the ok is given in removing his shirt, Barry smiles with a slow nod and goes about helping him out of it. There's no rush to peel it off, bunch it up, and throw it off to the side. Rather, he takes his time in how he pulls it up over Jason's head and peels the thing off him, chuckling softly at the way it messes his hair up a bit. Oops. Then again, it sort of leaves him looking a lot cuter than he usually is and Barry finds he can't bring himself to fix it up. Not yet at least.
Instead, he hums a little hum of amusement and leans in to kiss him. Slow. Soft. Just as Jason wants all of this to be.
He keeps there between those legs, hands smoothing their way slowly up and down those thighs he loves to be between. Letting his lips brush over Jason's in a kiss that, in some ways, never feels as if it's going to end, but when it does, it's with a gentle nip to his lower one, Barry huffing the softest of laughs as he bumps his forehead to Jason's.
It's in that quiet there that Barry finds himself just staring to Jason, hands still slow in their movements along his thighs, but brown eyes never seeming to stray from those blue ones and he lets go of a breath he hasn't even realized he's been holding until now. ]
Hey... [ The word barely a whisper there so close against those lips, Barry lets his gaze linger on Jason for a beat of a heart before he's smiling. Soft and warm. ] ...I kinda love you.
[ A gentle confession whispered feather-soft, he noses at Jason with an at first shy expression before it warms to something more hopeful and tender. Licking over his lips, he chuckles. Quiet. A brief duck of his head before he's pressing a kiss to the sharp edge of Jason's jaw, looking up to him through dark lashes. ]
[ All of this started out with some kind of practice- for the both of them really. How to slow down, how to be in the moment, how to live in what's around them instead of rushing through it to get to the next thing. He wasn't sure he could help Barry with any of it, if he's being honest about it, but throwing himself out there was the best he could do.
Somehow he made it work, and he still can't believe it. He's pretty sure it was all Barry that made this work anyway, and he somehow just slotted himself into the right parts, the right cracks.
There are still so many ways he can slip out, unravel, dislodge. But lately? He hasn't exactly been feeling that way. He feels like maybe this fits. It actually fits somehow, with someone he never would have dreamed of fitting with.
It's so good, the way Barry isn't in a rush and takes his time, even with lifting Jason's shirt off of him. He smiles when Barry chuckles at him, shaking his head slightly as his own hands fall back down into Barry's hair, messing it up a little too. Only fair, and Barry looks just as fucking cute with messy hair as he does.
He could kiss Barry like this for hours, drawing out each lick of lips, each taste into that mouth of his. None of this feels forced, or like something Barry is just giving him because Jason asked him for it. It feels more real than anything he's ever had before, and Jason wants to tell him that somehow, but he doesn't know how. As their foreheads bump together, Jason's hands slide to Barry's face, eyes locked with his.
Jason wants to take this moment in. Everything quiet and soft and gentle about it. He feels like he might never have this again, and there's this kind of warmth laced with pain that washes over him. He wants this. He wants it so badly. He doesn't want to think that he might never have it again after this moment. It's such a stupid thought in the midst of this, because Barry is with him, he wants him, he's here with him.
And then.
And then those words.
They catch Jason so off guard that the uncertainty flickers hard in his eyes before he can even think to stop it. Before he can think to close it all off.
He shifts his face away from Barry's tender kisses, and yet his fingers curl a little harder in the other man's hair, because... because... he doesn't want Barry to pull away, even if he has to pull away from Barry.]
What do you mean?
[ what a fucking stupid question. he's such a goddamn idiot. ]
[ For a fraction of a second, Barry wonders if he's crossed some invisible line he shouldn't have โ if he's possibly ruined this slow and soft moment between them. Because Jason seems confused at first and then it seems as though he's wanting to pull away... yet he grips so tight to his hair that Barry can't help but wonder if it's more a means to keep himself grounded here. To not slip or run away as some part of him might be telling him to.
So he's quiet as he stares to Jason, hands coming to still on those thighs and, instead, lets the pads of his thumbs rub slow and gentle circles there, keeping himself connected to Jason ins some physical way. ]
I... mean I kinda love you.
[ A beat, he licks over his lips, laughter just barely leaving his lips as he ducks his head. ]
That I'm kinda in love with you.
[ He lets himself look up to Jason then, feeling he both needs and deserves that so as not to think that Barry himself is shrinking away. Rather, he smiles, still warm, eyes as soft as they've ever really been.
Coming to lean against one of those legs, he hums a bit as his gaze drops, watching the way his thumb continues to rub circles on the inside of that thigh before he's biting the inside of his cheek in thought and he's looking back up to Jason. Eyes still warmly soft. ]
I think I have been for awhile now and I just... wanted to tell you.
[ Jason's unsteady gaze shifts to those hands, brow still furrowed slightly as he tries to even it out and not show so much goddamn emotion on his face. He fails, really, because he always does. He's a shithead who wears his heart on his sleeve, and it never works out for him. He's such a fucking idiot.
He almost laughs because he doesn't even know what he's berating himself for right now. It's just a thing he falls back to so naturally, like some fucked up defense mechanism.
Except this time he has a legit anchor to hold on to. Something to ground him. The caustic words he wants to throw at Barry to make him stop saying such nice things to him just aren't there, drifting away in the spaces between the two of them, that Jason's been so sure would be filled with poison and dirt, and...
and this is what he's wanted to say. The feelings and expressions, and the way this is more real than anything he's ever had before. This is what he's wanted to say, but didn't know how. Maybe didn't even feel like he was worthy enough to say it.
Barry doesn't pull back or recoil at his uncertainty. He keeps pushing on, pushing forward, looking at Jason like this isn't something he's going to back away from, no matter what kinda shit Jason pulls, and Jason knows. He knows this is what he's been trying to figure out. ]
I love you too.
[ He says firmly, before letting out a very shaky breath. Fuck. Fuck. His eyes find Barry's again after he realizes he's looked away. He doesn't want to be away. He wants this. ]
I'm in love with you too.
[ It's the scariest thing he's ever said in his entire life. ]
[ With wanting to indulge in soft and slow for a moment between them, this particular slow seems to stretch on in ways that could possibly become uncomfortable.
That is, if Barry didn't have the utmost faith in Jason and this moment right here between them.
Because Jason finally comes to speak and Barry listens. Completely. Smile slowly tugging at the corners of his lips in a way that becomes more than soft but bright and blinding in a way that only Barry can somehow seem to do. Jason's words touch him a way that makes him feel lighter and even if he wanted to, he can't wipe that smile off his face.
Jason feels the same. He's said so himself and Barry just feels... happy. So very happy.
Wanting to shower Jason in that happiness, he leans up and kisses him, humming brightly against his lips as he does so and he nearly pushes the birthday boy back against the bed before he comes to pull back, licking over his lips as he does. ]
I wanted to tell you before I gave you this.
[ It's then that he reaches under the bed for a small box that looks the sort to typically hold jewelry in it what with being crushed velvet and black. Holding it out for Jason โ because it's for him โ he nods, gesturing for him to open it. ]
I thought it might... make more sense if I told you.
[ Because inside the crushed velvet box and resting on a black satin cushion is a necklace with the letter R and a lightning bolt through it. Not too reminiscent of their respective symbols in the sense of being carbon copies laced together, but. Familiar enough in their own way. At least between the two of them. ]
[ Why Barry has so much faith in him... Jason doesn't get it. It doesn't make sense, and yet... maybe that's what this is. Nothing about the two of them makes sense, and yet somehow it does, in every possible way.
When Jason admits how he feels, at first it feels like... it feels like falling, his stomach dropping out from under him. But Barry is there.
The slow that seems to stretch is filled with Barry's smiles, and kisses, and this sense of relief that overtakes that falling feeling like a goddamn waterfall of emotions. Good emotions, and Jason doesn't know why he's frowning. He doesn't know why he's sitting here acting like this is some kind of detrimental fault, when it's so good. It's happiness. Barry loves him.
Barry's in love with him, and it's happiness, and the feeling in his stomach dissipates, the tension in his shoulders uncurling, and his expression turns lighter, arms catching around Barry as he nearly pushes him back against the bed, laughing softly into the kiss. ]
There's more?
[ Jason looks at him incredulously, especially when Barry holds the box out to him. There's another confused look that passes over Jason's face, but it's not as intensely chaotic as it was before, because he takes the box from Barry and opens it up, and... Barry is really working hard to short circuit him, isn't he.
Jason lets out a soft breath, lips parted in surprise as he runs his fingers over the necklace. Their symbols, intertwined. Jason smiles, pressing his arms over his eyes because fuck. He's gonna lose his shit over here. ]
Fuck, Barry.
[ he laughs, his voice coming out a little watery, but he moves his arm, dragging it across his eyes, because he wants to look at Barry. this is too damn important. ]
[ Despite all his awkwardness at times, Barry's heart is a soft one, one that can easily be broken or shattered yet filled with an overflowing hope and care for others that are dear to him. There's times where he wonders if maybe he's too soft for this sort of gig. He's not a fighter by any means and if depowered, Jason could easily run laps around him in hand-to-hand combat. But that softness of his is also what makes him him. What allows him to be empathetic, almost, to others around him and seek to do whatever he can to help and take care of those who can't.
It allows him to be thoughtful in moments like these.
Fingers rub at his boyfriend's knees and he smiles as he watches his expression carefully. He hadn't been too worried that Jason wouldn't like it, but. He also hadn't wanted to assume anything and also it was why he felt the need to explain with a confession so as not to have Jason feeling confused or be one to sending mixed signals to him; they've already done that song and dance with miscommunication before.
So when Jason asks him to help him put it on, Barry smiles, warm and loving, and nods as he reaches up for the box and the piece of jewelry that's essentially them twined together. ]
Here, let me see.
[ Leaning up some, he unhooks the backing and drapes the necklace around Jason's bare chest, leaning over him as he locks the clasp in place at the nape of his neck, fingers gently stroking down a moment after. Pulling back, he adjusts it some against Jason's chest and smile as he goes back onto his knees, head tilting as he admires the piece.
Looking up then with those soft brown eyes, he smiles again. ]
[ Barry's softness is everything Jason wants. It's what he needs, so clearly, because nothing else in the world can get him to be just as soft like this. He didn't think he had it in him, didn't even think he should, but Barry's shown him a different way. Jason only hopes he doesn't break that heart of his, but he'll do everything he can not to.
It's hard to imagine that anyone could feel this way about him, though, but if there's one thing he isn't going to do, it's doubt his boyfriend. Of course he doesn't doubt him, when Barry is so fucking thoughtful, making him feel special in ways he's never felt before.
Jason runs his finger over the pendant once more, before he hands it over to Barry to let him help put it on. He smiles brightly when it's hooked around his neck, hanging down against his chest. It feels good.
He looks at Barry, just taking in the warm expression on his face for a moment before he leans in to kiss him, fingers brushing against his cheek.]
I'm never taking it off. I love it. I love you.
[ It's a little easier this time, and Jason follows it up with another kiss, deep and slow, wanting Barry to feel just how much he really does love him. ]
[ Hearing those words โ I love it. I love you. โ they're nothing Barry himself ever thought he'd hear from someone and with them coming from Jason, well. It's difficult for him not to smile like sunshine.
When kissed, he sighs. Happy. Drinking it up with just as much warmth and tenderness to it as Jason himself gives to him. It's so easy to, he thinks, and he also thinks Jason should give himself more credit for his worth and what he deserves in this life... from him.
Cradling the side of his face with a hand, Barry hums a pleased little sound against those lips and pulls back just enough to bump his forehead with his own, eyes fluttering open as that smile stays there on his lips. ]
I'd say this was a pretty good birthday then. If I got you something you're never going to take off.
[ The thing is, Jason loves hard too. When he can get himself there, and open himself up enough for it, he'll go in with his whole damn heart. Hell, he's pretty sure he's been in love with Barry for a while now- already wanted more with him than whatever hook up thing they might've originally planned.
He thought maybe the best he'd get was a date, but Barry trusted him and went with him, and now they have this.
Jason's happy, letting the warmth he feels push out any lingering doubt he might have about himself away, chasing all of Barry's smiles with more kisses. ]
Best birthday I've ever had.
[ People say that all the time, but for Jason it's true. This is the best anything he's ever had. ]
But just so you know, I've got something I hope you're always gonna take off too, though.
[ He grins, waggling an eyebrow at his boyfriend. ]
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no subject
He snags the water and stick it under his arm, offering Barry his last bite of cupcake before he follows him around the place, trying to take in every last, very cool detail.]
Wait, wait you gotta show me more of your bedroom.
[Even if they might get stuck there? Maybe that's fine though? They have time, and Jason's feeling some kinda way right now.]
Do you run around in here? Like test out your suit and stuff?
no subject
You really eager to unwrap your present, huh?
[ Teasing, he nods though and runs the tips of his fingers over his lips as he glances around. ]
Yeah, sometimes. I mean โ I have a pretty good handle on it now, but. It's a lot better to do that outside with more space, you know?
no subject
I'm not super known for being patient.
[ he smirks, but it's cool. he really is good with anything they do. he's already completely swept off his feat. his kinda riding this really good high right now. ]
Yeah, makes sense. So cool that you can go anywhere you want. But if I lived in this place? I'd never go anywhere, it's so cool.
no subject
[ He's teasing as he saunters his way on up to the other, grin on his lips, arms looping around that waist. Keeping Jason nice and close against him as he cocks his head to the side, that look of amusement still there on his face. ]
Because as cool as this place is... kinda think being with you is cooler.
[ Yeah he sounds like a dork and yeah he's sure chuckling a little at himself for it. But he also doesn't really care because... Jason is here. In his place and they have... well, not all the time in the world, but. Enough. At least for now and Barry intends to make the most of it. ]
So what do you wanna do?
no subject
[ Jason replies easily, more than happy to lean right into Barry when his arms loop around him. He bites at his lip, just watching him with this completely aroused look on his face. Barry's a dork, and Jason loves it. It does things to him.
He pulls his boyfriend in a little closer as he slides his arms around his shoulder, hips pressing forward casually. ]
Kinda wanna do you right now. Or you do me. I'm really good either way, as long as you give me a personal tour of your bed.
no subject
[ Because he can and he will... but not before sinking teeth into that bottom lip of his and deciding to be a little... mischievous what with those hips pressing into his so blatantly and all. So, leaning in, he hums as he drags his lips across Jason's cheek and along his temple, smiling as hands hold tight to the small of his back. ]
You're the birthday boy today. You get to have me however you want. If you want me on my knees sucking you off until you can't come anymore, I will. If you wanna fuck my face and feed me your cum until I can't take anymore, you can. If you wanna have my on my hands and knees and see how good I take your cock from behind, I can do that as many times as you'd like.
[ Grinning against the shell of Jason's ear, he smooths his hands down the other's sides and nips at his ear then, pulling back with an All Too Innocent look on his face. ]
Or I can do any of those things to you. It's your call. You're in charge. I'm here to please you in every way you want.
no subject
But holy fuck, Barry doesn't stop there, and Jason is a little embarrassed at how hard he gets from those words alone.
But even more so, when he thinks about what he really wants, and it isn't exactly any of those things. Not just yet, anyways.
He doesn't mean to shift his hips away, or let his gaze slide over to the rack of books rather than at Barry, or let his fingers curl into fists instead of letting them splay out against Barry's back. But there's still this whole fight or flight thing inside of him, and the way he swears he'd never want to trust anyone like this, and yet here he is. ]
Maybe... something softer.
no subject
There isn't a look of surprise or disappointment on his face when Jason suggests something softer. Rather, Barry pulls back just enough to be able to smile down to him and run a palm over his cheek, cradling his face as softly as Jason wants soft for his birthday. ]
We can do softer.
[ Letting the pad of his thumb brush under Jason's eye, he leans in to brush a tender kiss over those lips with the sweetest of hums on them. ]
We can do anything you want. [ A beat, he noses Jason. ] I can let you feel how much you mean to me.
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He feels a little less of kilter when Barry agrees to it, and he can see that it's a genuine thing. Barry isn't rolling his eyes at his weak ass shit, or thinking he's like, losing his touch, or whatever.
In any other situation he might feel a little pathetic, which would probably lead to anger, but that's not the case here. Barry is already so soft with him- even before this, he realizes- and he relaxes back against him, fingers uncurling into the other man's hair. ]
Show me. That's what I wanna feel.
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The smile he wears is that โ soft and he hums just the same when those fingers find themselves in his hair, arms holding right around that waist of his. ]
I'll show you then. [ Brushing the words against those lips. ] I'll make you feel it all, baby.
[ That's about all that Barry plans to say before he's gripping tight to Jason and, using a bit of his quick reflexes to add a bit of strength to his movements, he hoists Jason up against him, intending to carry him where Jason can slot and wrap his legs around his waist. ]
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He feels warm and soft at Barry's words, already feeling so into it. When does he not though, when it comes to Barry.
Jason's surprised when Barry hoists him up so easily, a soft laugh breathed out against Barry's lips as he moves his legs around his waist. ]
New moves, I like it.
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[ Smiling right back against those lips, Barry makes sure he has a tight enough hold on Jason before he starts to walk, carrying his boyfriend the birthday boy in the direction of his room โ which, by the way, is very much Out In The Open given the layout of the warehouse sort of loft life he lives.
He peppers Jason's face and neck in soft little kisses as he maneuvers around a couple things for his bed, the trip to it not all that long. When he's there, he gently drops Jason down on the edge of the bed and smiles warmly as he just stands there in front of him, letting hands softly cup the sides of his neck. ]
Tell me if it's ever too much for you, ok?
[ Words soft but with an understanding that this may be overwhelming, in a way, to Jason and the last thing he wants is for him to feel as if he's suffocating from something that he intends to be the physical show of how much he means to him.
Either way, he lets his hands smooth down the sides of that neck and brush over the front of Jason's shirt, Barry dropping down to his knees to slot himself there between Jason's legs, kissing at his neck and chest even with clothes still on. ]
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[ Maybe not here here exactly, but here with Barry in every other way. This is something he desperately wants to hold on to, despite how much he knows he fucks things up. He feels like he's getting better at it though, at least with Barry.
Jason tightens his legs around Barry as he starts to move, letting him leave all those kisses against his skin. It all makes him smile. He can't stop smiling, actually.
He figures Barry's room is all out in the open, and that's pretty cool too. Not like they have to lock doors here like he's used to doing in the manor. They have all the privacy they want here. It helps to make Jason even more comfortable with what he's asked for, because this really is just them.
He looks up at Barry when he's set down on the bed, his hands sliding to the other man's waist, just up under his shirt. The fact that Barry even realizes that even though Jason asked for it, it might still be overwhelming... it means a lot to Jason, and he knows he made the right decision with all of this. ]
I will.
[ Jason doesn't take his eyes off Barry as he moves down to his knees between his legs, his own hands sliding up along his shoulders, caressing up along his neck. ]
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The smile he wears is still warm and soft as he looks up to Jason from between those legs. Fingers move slow and careful along the front of his shirt, dipping down to slip beneath the hem of it and let the tips of his fingers ghost along warm skin then beneath the material. Barry hums softly, just watching Jason as he lets his fingers explore him underneath that shirt. ]
Want me to take this off?
[ He keeps his voice soft โ low. Eyes never really straying from the birthday boy's face as he draws little patterns across his skin beneath his shirt, occasionally letting them drop to the waistband of those pants. ]
lol sorry for this jason dump of emotions in the middle of sexy tiems xD
It's an odd thing for him to ask for, really, but right now it's all he wants. With Barry it's all he wants. His boyfriend isn't wrong, though. It's fucking scary, and a lot to think about, so he doesn't really think about it. He just lets himself feel it, which is something he's better at. Better at, because he feels things so intensely, so readily. Doesn't mean that's always good. In this case, though, it very much is.
Feeling things has always been too much for Jason in general, but if he can focus it, funnel it into something good instead of fucked up and angry, then... there's this.
Jason knows he doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve a lot of what he has, but he's a survivor, and sometimes that means taking things he doesn't deserve, otherwise what'll happen to him? He'll waste away. He doesn't want to waste away. He wants to fit. He wants to belong. He wants to be loved. He sure as shit knows he's terrible at loving back, but... he's trying. He's trying so hard.
Barry makes it so much easier.
Jason can't take his fiery blue eyes off of Barry, sucking his lower lip into his mouth as the other man's hands travel up under his shirt, along his skin. He nods, lifting his hands from Barry's shoulders so he can take his shirt off, a soft smile on his face at the way Barry asks. Such a damn turn on. ]
You can take it off.
i'm just gonna have to raise you one
When the ok is given in removing his shirt, Barry smiles with a slow nod and goes about helping him out of it. There's no rush to peel it off, bunch it up, and throw it off to the side. Rather, he takes his time in how he pulls it up over Jason's head and peels the thing off him, chuckling softly at the way it messes his hair up a bit. Oops. Then again, it sort of leaves him looking a lot cuter than he usually is and Barry finds he can't bring himself to fix it up. Not yet at least.
Instead, he hums a little hum of amusement and leans in to kiss him. Slow. Soft. Just as Jason wants all of this to be.
He keeps there between those legs, hands smoothing their way slowly up and down those thighs he loves to be between. Letting his lips brush over Jason's in a kiss that, in some ways, never feels as if it's going to end, but when it does, it's with a gentle nip to his lower one, Barry huffing the softest of laughs as he bumps his forehead to Jason's.
It's in that quiet there that Barry finds himself just staring to Jason, hands still slow in their movements along his thighs, but brown eyes never seeming to stray from those blue ones and he lets go of a breath he hasn't even realized he's been holding until now. ]
Hey... [ The word barely a whisper there so close against those lips, Barry lets his gaze linger on Jason for a beat of a heart before he's smiling. Soft and warm. ] ...I kinda love you.
[ A gentle confession whispered feather-soft, he noses at Jason with an at first shy expression before it warms to something more hopeful and tender. Licking over his lips, he chuckles. Quiet. A brief duck of his head before he's pressing a kiss to the sharp edge of Jason's jaw, looking up to him through dark lashes. ]
If that's ok for me to say.
JESUUUSSS. okay yeah, you win?? maybe??
Somehow he made it work, and he still can't believe it. He's pretty sure it was all Barry that made this work anyway, and he somehow just slotted himself into the right parts, the right cracks.
There are still so many ways he can slip out, unravel, dislodge. But lately? He hasn't exactly been feeling that way. He feels like maybe this fits. It actually fits somehow, with someone he never would have dreamed of fitting with.
It's so good, the way Barry isn't in a rush and takes his time, even with lifting Jason's shirt off of him. He smiles when Barry chuckles at him, shaking his head slightly as his own hands fall back down into Barry's hair, messing it up a little too. Only fair, and Barry looks just as fucking cute with messy hair as he does.
He could kiss Barry like this for hours, drawing out each lick of lips, each taste into that mouth of his. None of this feels forced, or like something Barry is just giving him because Jason asked him for it. It feels more real than anything he's ever had before, and Jason wants to tell him that somehow, but he doesn't know how. As their foreheads bump together, Jason's hands slide to Barry's face, eyes locked with his.
Jason wants to take this moment in. Everything quiet and soft and gentle about it. He feels like he might never have this again, and there's this kind of warmth laced with pain that washes over him. He wants this. He wants it so badly. He doesn't want to think that he might never have it again after this moment. It's such a stupid thought in the midst of this, because Barry is with him, he wants him, he's here with him.
And then.
And then those words.
They catch Jason so off guard that the uncertainty flickers hard in his eyes before he can even think to stop it. Before he can think to close it all off.
He shifts his face away from Barry's tender kisses, and yet his fingers curl a little harder in the other man's hair, because... because... he doesn't want Barry to pull away, even if he has to pull away from Barry.]
What do you mean?
[ what a fucking stupid question. he's such a goddamn idiot. ]
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So he's quiet as he stares to Jason, hands coming to still on those thighs and, instead, lets the pads of his thumbs rub slow and gentle circles there, keeping himself connected to Jason ins some physical way. ]
I... mean I kinda love you.
[ A beat, he licks over his lips, laughter just barely leaving his lips as he ducks his head. ]
That I'm kinda in love with you.
[ He lets himself look up to Jason then, feeling he both needs and deserves that so as not to think that Barry himself is shrinking away. Rather, he smiles, still warm, eyes as soft as they've ever really been.
Coming to lean against one of those legs, he hums a bit as his gaze drops, watching the way his thumb continues to rub circles on the inside of that thigh before he's biting the inside of his cheek in thought and he's looking back up to Jason. Eyes still warmly soft. ]
I think I have been for awhile now and I just... wanted to tell you.
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He almost laughs because he doesn't even know what he's berating himself for right now. It's just a thing he falls back to so naturally, like some fucked up defense mechanism.
Except this time he has a legit anchor to hold on to. Something to ground him. The caustic words he wants to throw at Barry to make him stop saying such nice things to him just aren't there, drifting away in the spaces between the two of them, that Jason's been so sure would be filled with poison and dirt, and...
and this is what he's wanted to say. The feelings and expressions, and the way this is more real than anything he's ever had before. This is what he's wanted to say, but didn't know how. Maybe didn't even feel like he was worthy enough to say it.
Barry doesn't pull back or recoil at his uncertainty. He keeps pushing on, pushing forward, looking at Jason like this isn't something he's going to back away from, no matter what kinda shit Jason pulls, and Jason knows. He knows this is what he's been trying to figure out. ]
I love you too.
[ He says firmly, before letting out a very shaky breath. Fuck. Fuck. His eyes find Barry's again after he realizes he's looked away. He doesn't want to be away. He wants this. ]
I'm in love with you too.
[ It's the scariest thing he's ever said in his entire life. ]
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That is, if Barry didn't have the utmost faith in Jason and this moment right here between them.
Because Jason finally comes to speak and Barry listens. Completely. Smile slowly tugging at the corners of his lips in a way that becomes more than soft but bright and blinding in a way that only Barry can somehow seem to do. Jason's words touch him a way that makes him feel lighter and even if he wanted to, he can't wipe that smile off his face.
Jason feels the same. He's said so himself and Barry just feels... happy. So very happy.
Wanting to shower Jason in that happiness, he leans up and kisses him, humming brightly against his lips as he does so and he nearly pushes the birthday boy back against the bed before he comes to pull back, licking over his lips as he does. ]
I wanted to tell you before I gave you this.
[ It's then that he reaches under the bed for a small box that looks the sort to typically hold jewelry in it what with being crushed velvet and black. Holding it out for Jason โ because it's for him โ he nods, gesturing for him to open it. ]
I thought it might... make more sense if I told you.
[ Because inside the crushed velvet box and resting on a black satin cushion is a necklace with the letter R and a lightning bolt through it. Not too reminiscent of their respective symbols in the sense of being carbon copies laced together, but. Familiar enough in their own way. At least between the two of them. ]
Happy birthday.
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When Jason admits how he feels, at first it feels like... it feels like falling, his stomach dropping out from under him. But Barry is there.
The slow that seems to stretch is filled with Barry's smiles, and kisses, and this sense of relief that overtakes that falling feeling like a goddamn waterfall of emotions. Good emotions, and Jason doesn't know why he's frowning. He doesn't know why he's sitting here acting like this is some kind of detrimental fault, when it's so good. It's happiness. Barry loves him.
Barry's in love with him, and it's happiness, and the feeling in his stomach dissipates, the tension in his shoulders uncurling, and his expression turns lighter, arms catching around Barry as he nearly pushes him back against the bed, laughing softly into the kiss. ]
There's more?
[ Jason looks at him incredulously, especially when Barry holds the box out to him. There's another confused look that passes over Jason's face, but it's not as intensely chaotic as it was before, because he takes the box from Barry and opens it up, and... Barry is really working hard to short circuit him, isn't he.
Jason lets out a soft breath, lips parted in surprise as he runs his fingers over the necklace. Their symbols, intertwined. Jason smiles, pressing his arms over his eyes because fuck. He's gonna lose his shit over here. ]
Fuck, Barry.
[ he laughs, his voice coming out a little watery, but he moves his arm, dragging it across his eyes, because he wants to look at Barry. this is too damn important. ]
This is us, huh.
[The two of them. Together. ]
Will you help me put it on?
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It allows him to be thoughtful in moments like these.
Fingers rub at his boyfriend's knees and he smiles as he watches his expression carefully. He hadn't been too worried that Jason wouldn't like it, but. He also hadn't wanted to assume anything and also it was why he felt the need to explain with a confession so as not to have Jason feeling confused or be one to sending mixed signals to him; they've already done that song and dance with miscommunication before.
So when Jason asks him to help him put it on, Barry smiles, warm and loving, and nods as he reaches up for the box and the piece of jewelry that's essentially them twined together. ]
Here, let me see.
[ Leaning up some, he unhooks the backing and drapes the necklace around Jason's bare chest, leaning over him as he locks the clasp in place at the nape of his neck, fingers gently stroking down a moment after. Pulling back, he adjusts it some against Jason's chest and smile as he goes back onto his knees, head tilting as he admires the piece.
Looking up then with those soft brown eyes, he smiles again. ]
There. Right where it belongs.
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It's hard to imagine that anyone could feel this way about him, though, but if there's one thing he isn't going to do, it's doubt his boyfriend. Of course he doesn't doubt him, when Barry is so fucking thoughtful, making him feel special in ways he's never felt before.
Jason runs his finger over the pendant once more, before he hands it over to Barry to let him help put it on. He smiles brightly when it's hooked around his neck, hanging down against his chest. It feels good.
He looks at Barry, just taking in the warm expression on his face for a moment before he leans in to kiss him, fingers brushing against his cheek.]
I'm never taking it off. I love it. I love you.
[ It's a little easier this time, and Jason follows it up with another kiss, deep and slow, wanting Barry to feel just how much he really does love him. ]
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When kissed, he sighs. Happy. Drinking it up with just as much warmth and tenderness to it as Jason himself gives to him. It's so easy to, he thinks, and he also thinks Jason should give himself more credit for his worth and what he deserves in this life... from him.
Cradling the side of his face with a hand, Barry hums a pleased little sound against those lips and pulls back just enough to bump his forehead with his own, eyes fluttering open as that smile stays there on his lips. ]
I'd say this was a pretty good birthday then. If I got you something you're never going to take off.
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He thought maybe the best he'd get was a date, but Barry trusted him and went with him, and now they have this.
Jason's happy, letting the warmth he feels push out any lingering doubt he might have about himself away, chasing all of Barry's smiles with more kisses. ]
Best birthday I've ever had.
[ People say that all the time, but for Jason it's true. This is the best anything he's ever had. ]
But just so you know, I've got something I hope you're always gonna take off too, though.
[ He grins, waggling an eyebrow at his boyfriend. ]
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dw cockblocking us again, i see ๐ค
smh dw
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