[ Maybe not here here exactly, but here with Barry in every other way. This is something he desperately wants to hold on to, despite how much he knows he fucks things up. He feels like he's getting better at it though, at least with Barry.
Jason tightens his legs around Barry as he starts to move, letting him leave all those kisses against his skin. It all makes him smile. He can't stop smiling, actually.
He figures Barry's room is all out in the open, and that's pretty cool too. Not like they have to lock doors here like he's used to doing in the manor. They have all the privacy they want here. It helps to make Jason even more comfortable with what he's asked for, because this really is just them.
He looks up at Barry when he's set down on the bed, his hands sliding to the other man's waist, just up under his shirt. The fact that Barry even realizes that even though Jason asked for it, it might still be overwhelming... it means a lot to Jason, and he knows he made the right decision with all of this. ]
I will.
[ Jason doesn't take his eyes off Barry as he moves down to his knees between his legs, his own hands sliding up along his shoulders, caressing up along his neck. ]
[ Barry is slow and gentle with every single touch, kiss, and movement of his. He wants Jason to enjoy this in a way that doesn't overwhelm him (much) to the point of it being borderline uncomfortable. From the little he knows of his past and the way people perceive him more often than not, asking something like this from him โ to be shown in a physical way how much he means to the speedster โ is probably a little scary... maybe he doesn't even think he deserves it; he does, as far as Barry is concerned. But rather than assume any of this, Barry just has little cues to go off of with the time he's spent with Jason thus far and the last thing he wants is or him to feel as though any of this is rushed or simply given to him because he asked for it. That's not why he's doing this. It's because he does, truly, want to.
The smile he wears is still warm and soft as he looks up to Jason from between those legs. Fingers move slow and careful along the front of his shirt, dipping down to slip beneath the hem of it and let the tips of his fingers ghost along warm skin then beneath the material. Barry hums softly, just watching Jason as he lets his fingers explore him underneath that shirt. ]
Want me to take this off?
[ He keeps his voice soft โ low. Eyes never really straying from the birthday boy's face as he draws little patterns across his skin beneath his shirt, occasionally letting them drop to the waistband of those pants. ]
lol sorry for this jason dump of emotions in the middle of sexy tiems xD
It's an odd thing for him to ask for, really, but right now it's all he wants. With Barry it's all he wants. His boyfriend isn't wrong, though. It's fucking scary, and a lot to think about, so he doesn't really think about it. He just lets himself feel it, which is something he's better at. Better at, because he feels things so intensely, so readily. Doesn't mean that's always good. In this case, though, it very much is.
Feeling things has always been too much for Jason in general, but if he can focus it, funnel it into something good instead of fucked up and angry, then... there's this.
Jason knows he doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve a lot of what he has, but he's a survivor, and sometimes that means taking things he doesn't deserve, otherwise what'll happen to him? He'll waste away. He doesn't want to waste away. He wants to fit. He wants to belong. He wants to be loved. He sure as shit knows he's terrible at loving back, but... he's trying. He's trying so hard.
Barry makes it so much easier.
Jason can't take his fiery blue eyes off of Barry, sucking his lower lip into his mouth as the other man's hands travel up under his shirt, along his skin. He nods, lifting his hands from Barry's shoulders so he can take his shirt off, a soft smile on his face at the way Barry asks. Such a damn turn on. ]
[ Despite his being a speedster, Barry finds soft and slow moments like these to be just as favored and enjoyable. Taking the time to savor the moment and all the little sounds and expressions Jason both makes and gives to him... there's nothing else like that. Nothing he can find within the speed force or the handful of seconds life can often ends up being to him. To purposefully slow down and take pleasure in all the little things in life... he'd needed more of that in his life in a way he hadn't quite managed to find on his own. With Jason, however, he comes to see he can find those moments โ wants to have them more and more.
When the ok is given in removing his shirt, Barry smiles with a slow nod and goes about helping him out of it. There's no rush to peel it off, bunch it up, and throw it off to the side. Rather, he takes his time in how he pulls it up over Jason's head and peels the thing off him, chuckling softly at the way it messes his hair up a bit. Oops. Then again, it sort of leaves him looking a lot cuter than he usually is and Barry finds he can't bring himself to fix it up. Not yet at least.
Instead, he hums a little hum of amusement and leans in to kiss him. Slow. Soft. Just as Jason wants all of this to be.
He keeps there between those legs, hands smoothing their way slowly up and down those thighs he loves to be between. Letting his lips brush over Jason's in a kiss that, in some ways, never feels as if it's going to end, but when it does, it's with a gentle nip to his lower one, Barry huffing the softest of laughs as he bumps his forehead to Jason's.
It's in that quiet there that Barry finds himself just staring to Jason, hands still slow in their movements along his thighs, but brown eyes never seeming to stray from those blue ones and he lets go of a breath he hasn't even realized he's been holding until now. ]
Hey... [ The word barely a whisper there so close against those lips, Barry lets his gaze linger on Jason for a beat of a heart before he's smiling. Soft and warm. ] ...I kinda love you.
[ A gentle confession whispered feather-soft, he noses at Jason with an at first shy expression before it warms to something more hopeful and tender. Licking over his lips, he chuckles. Quiet. A brief duck of his head before he's pressing a kiss to the sharp edge of Jason's jaw, looking up to him through dark lashes. ]
[ All of this started out with some kind of practice- for the both of them really. How to slow down, how to be in the moment, how to live in what's around them instead of rushing through it to get to the next thing. He wasn't sure he could help Barry with any of it, if he's being honest about it, but throwing himself out there was the best he could do.
Somehow he made it work, and he still can't believe it. He's pretty sure it was all Barry that made this work anyway, and he somehow just slotted himself into the right parts, the right cracks.
There are still so many ways he can slip out, unravel, dislodge. But lately? He hasn't exactly been feeling that way. He feels like maybe this fits. It actually fits somehow, with someone he never would have dreamed of fitting with.
It's so good, the way Barry isn't in a rush and takes his time, even with lifting Jason's shirt off of him. He smiles when Barry chuckles at him, shaking his head slightly as his own hands fall back down into Barry's hair, messing it up a little too. Only fair, and Barry looks just as fucking cute with messy hair as he does.
He could kiss Barry like this for hours, drawing out each lick of lips, each taste into that mouth of his. None of this feels forced, or like something Barry is just giving him because Jason asked him for it. It feels more real than anything he's ever had before, and Jason wants to tell him that somehow, but he doesn't know how. As their foreheads bump together, Jason's hands slide to Barry's face, eyes locked with his.
Jason wants to take this moment in. Everything quiet and soft and gentle about it. He feels like he might never have this again, and there's this kind of warmth laced with pain that washes over him. He wants this. He wants it so badly. He doesn't want to think that he might never have it again after this moment. It's such a stupid thought in the midst of this, because Barry is with him, he wants him, he's here with him.
And then.
And then those words.
They catch Jason so off guard that the uncertainty flickers hard in his eyes before he can even think to stop it. Before he can think to close it all off.
He shifts his face away from Barry's tender kisses, and yet his fingers curl a little harder in the other man's hair, because... because... he doesn't want Barry to pull away, even if he has to pull away from Barry.]
What do you mean?
[ what a fucking stupid question. he's such a goddamn idiot. ]
[ For a fraction of a second, Barry wonders if he's crossed some invisible line he shouldn't have โ if he's possibly ruined this slow and soft moment between them. Because Jason seems confused at first and then it seems as though he's wanting to pull away... yet he grips so tight to his hair that Barry can't help but wonder if it's more a means to keep himself grounded here. To not slip or run away as some part of him might be telling him to.
So he's quiet as he stares to Jason, hands coming to still on those thighs and, instead, lets the pads of his thumbs rub slow and gentle circles there, keeping himself connected to Jason ins some physical way. ]
I... mean I kinda love you.
[ A beat, he licks over his lips, laughter just barely leaving his lips as he ducks his head. ]
That I'm kinda in love with you.
[ He lets himself look up to Jason then, feeling he both needs and deserves that so as not to think that Barry himself is shrinking away. Rather, he smiles, still warm, eyes as soft as they've ever really been.
Coming to lean against one of those legs, he hums a bit as his gaze drops, watching the way his thumb continues to rub circles on the inside of that thigh before he's biting the inside of his cheek in thought and he's looking back up to Jason. Eyes still warmly soft. ]
I think I have been for awhile now and I just... wanted to tell you.
[ Jason's unsteady gaze shifts to those hands, brow still furrowed slightly as he tries to even it out and not show so much goddamn emotion on his face. He fails, really, because he always does. He's a shithead who wears his heart on his sleeve, and it never works out for him. He's such a fucking idiot.
He almost laughs because he doesn't even know what he's berating himself for right now. It's just a thing he falls back to so naturally, like some fucked up defense mechanism.
Except this time he has a legit anchor to hold on to. Something to ground him. The caustic words he wants to throw at Barry to make him stop saying such nice things to him just aren't there, drifting away in the spaces between the two of them, that Jason's been so sure would be filled with poison and dirt, and...
and this is what he's wanted to say. The feelings and expressions, and the way this is more real than anything he's ever had before. This is what he's wanted to say, but didn't know how. Maybe didn't even feel like he was worthy enough to say it.
Barry doesn't pull back or recoil at his uncertainty. He keeps pushing on, pushing forward, looking at Jason like this isn't something he's going to back away from, no matter what kinda shit Jason pulls, and Jason knows. He knows this is what he's been trying to figure out. ]
I love you too.
[ He says firmly, before letting out a very shaky breath. Fuck. Fuck. His eyes find Barry's again after he realizes he's looked away. He doesn't want to be away. He wants this. ]
I'm in love with you too.
[ It's the scariest thing he's ever said in his entire life. ]
[ With wanting to indulge in soft and slow for a moment between them, this particular slow seems to stretch on in ways that could possibly become uncomfortable.
That is, if Barry didn't have the utmost faith in Jason and this moment right here between them.
Because Jason finally comes to speak and Barry listens. Completely. Smile slowly tugging at the corners of his lips in a way that becomes more than soft but bright and blinding in a way that only Barry can somehow seem to do. Jason's words touch him a way that makes him feel lighter and even if he wanted to, he can't wipe that smile off his face.
Jason feels the same. He's said so himself and Barry just feels... happy. So very happy.
Wanting to shower Jason in that happiness, he leans up and kisses him, humming brightly against his lips as he does so and he nearly pushes the birthday boy back against the bed before he comes to pull back, licking over his lips as he does. ]
I wanted to tell you before I gave you this.
[ It's then that he reaches under the bed for a small box that looks the sort to typically hold jewelry in it what with being crushed velvet and black. Holding it out for Jason โ because it's for him โ he nods, gesturing for him to open it. ]
I thought it might... make more sense if I told you.
[ Because inside the crushed velvet box and resting on a black satin cushion is a necklace with the letter R and a lightning bolt through it. Not too reminiscent of their respective symbols in the sense of being carbon copies laced together, but. Familiar enough in their own way. At least between the two of them. ]
[ Why Barry has so much faith in him... Jason doesn't get it. It doesn't make sense, and yet... maybe that's what this is. Nothing about the two of them makes sense, and yet somehow it does, in every possible way.
When Jason admits how he feels, at first it feels like... it feels like falling, his stomach dropping out from under him. But Barry is there.
The slow that seems to stretch is filled with Barry's smiles, and kisses, and this sense of relief that overtakes that falling feeling like a goddamn waterfall of emotions. Good emotions, and Jason doesn't know why he's frowning. He doesn't know why he's sitting here acting like this is some kind of detrimental fault, when it's so good. It's happiness. Barry loves him.
Barry's in love with him, and it's happiness, and the feeling in his stomach dissipates, the tension in his shoulders uncurling, and his expression turns lighter, arms catching around Barry as he nearly pushes him back against the bed, laughing softly into the kiss. ]
There's more?
[ Jason looks at him incredulously, especially when Barry holds the box out to him. There's another confused look that passes over Jason's face, but it's not as intensely chaotic as it was before, because he takes the box from Barry and opens it up, and... Barry is really working hard to short circuit him, isn't he.
Jason lets out a soft breath, lips parted in surprise as he runs his fingers over the necklace. Their symbols, intertwined. Jason smiles, pressing his arms over his eyes because fuck. He's gonna lose his shit over here. ]
Fuck, Barry.
[ he laughs, his voice coming out a little watery, but he moves his arm, dragging it across his eyes, because he wants to look at Barry. this is too damn important. ]
[ Despite all his awkwardness at times, Barry's heart is a soft one, one that can easily be broken or shattered yet filled with an overflowing hope and care for others that are dear to him. There's times where he wonders if maybe he's too soft for this sort of gig. He's not a fighter by any means and if depowered, Jason could easily run laps around him in hand-to-hand combat. But that softness of his is also what makes him him. What allows him to be empathetic, almost, to others around him and seek to do whatever he can to help and take care of those who can't.
It allows him to be thoughtful in moments like these.
Fingers rub at his boyfriend's knees and he smiles as he watches his expression carefully. He hadn't been too worried that Jason wouldn't like it, but. He also hadn't wanted to assume anything and also it was why he felt the need to explain with a confession so as not to have Jason feeling confused or be one to sending mixed signals to him; they've already done that song and dance with miscommunication before.
So when Jason asks him to help him put it on, Barry smiles, warm and loving, and nods as he reaches up for the box and the piece of jewelry that's essentially them twined together. ]
Here, let me see.
[ Leaning up some, he unhooks the backing and drapes the necklace around Jason's bare chest, leaning over him as he locks the clasp in place at the nape of his neck, fingers gently stroking down a moment after. Pulling back, he adjusts it some against Jason's chest and smile as he goes back onto his knees, head tilting as he admires the piece.
Looking up then with those soft brown eyes, he smiles again. ]
[ Barry's softness is everything Jason wants. It's what he needs, so clearly, because nothing else in the world can get him to be just as soft like this. He didn't think he had it in him, didn't even think he should, but Barry's shown him a different way. Jason only hopes he doesn't break that heart of his, but he'll do everything he can not to.
It's hard to imagine that anyone could feel this way about him, though, but if there's one thing he isn't going to do, it's doubt his boyfriend. Of course he doesn't doubt him, when Barry is so fucking thoughtful, making him feel special in ways he's never felt before.
Jason runs his finger over the pendant once more, before he hands it over to Barry to let him help put it on. He smiles brightly when it's hooked around his neck, hanging down against his chest. It feels good.
He looks at Barry, just taking in the warm expression on his face for a moment before he leans in to kiss him, fingers brushing against his cheek.]
I'm never taking it off. I love it. I love you.
[ It's a little easier this time, and Jason follows it up with another kiss, deep and slow, wanting Barry to feel just how much he really does love him. ]
[ Hearing those words โ I love it. I love you. โ they're nothing Barry himself ever thought he'd hear from someone and with them coming from Jason, well. It's difficult for him not to smile like sunshine.
When kissed, he sighs. Happy. Drinking it up with just as much warmth and tenderness to it as Jason himself gives to him. It's so easy to, he thinks, and he also thinks Jason should give himself more credit for his worth and what he deserves in this life... from him.
Cradling the side of his face with a hand, Barry hums a pleased little sound against those lips and pulls back just enough to bump his forehead with his own, eyes fluttering open as that smile stays there on his lips. ]
I'd say this was a pretty good birthday then. If I got you something you're never going to take off.
[ The thing is, Jason loves hard too. When he can get himself there, and open himself up enough for it, he'll go in with his whole damn heart. Hell, he's pretty sure he's been in love with Barry for a while now- already wanted more with him than whatever hook up thing they might've originally planned.
He thought maybe the best he'd get was a date, but Barry trusted him and went with him, and now they have this.
Jason's happy, letting the warmth he feels push out any lingering doubt he might have about himself away, chasing all of Barry's smiles with more kisses. ]
Best birthday I've ever had.
[ People say that all the time, but for Jason it's true. This is the best anything he's ever had. ]
But just so you know, I've got something I hope you're always gonna take off too, though.
[ He grins, waggling an eyebrow at his boyfriend. ]
[ Much like his smile, the laughter that spills from his lips is like liquid sunshine, a crinkling to his eyes given to show just how happy he is in this moment here โ this moment with Jason. ]
Well I'd kinda hope you'd always like it to come off.
[ Running his tongue along his lower lip, he huffs a laugh and pulls back enough to be able to tug his own shirt off, pulling it up and over his shoulders, only to drop it down to the floor beside him. Still a little hairy on the chest there, muscles become taut across his arms as he leans on them, hands flat on either side of Jason there on the bed, Barry humming with a playful little grin on his lips as he stares to the other. Stares to his boyfriend. ]
Is it ok if we just stay in bed for a couple hours? I know I need to show you around, but... [ He chuckles softly, necking at Jason with little pecks of his lips. ] ...kinda want to not share you with the world for a little bit.
[ This may be corny as fuck, but Jason's pretty sure Barry's laugh is his favorite sound in the world. Shit, he's got it bad. So damn bad, but instead of having a meltdown over feeling that way, he likes it. He's happy for it. If he can make Barry laugh, smile like this all the time? Maybe he's not so bad. ]
I mean, it's all yours, really.
[ His hands move quickly to Barry's bare chest when his shirt comes off, wanting nothing more than to feel him under his fingers. He leans back to give Barry more room to move over him, hand sliding to his neck to brush his thumb along the spot just under his ear. ]
It's real fucking okay. Nothing I want more than that. As long as you're here with me, whatever we do is the perfect thing.
[ Jason feels the best kind of warmth at the thought of Barry wanting him here all to himself. That's what he wants too. Just the two of them, intertwined for as long as they want to be. ]
[ When Jason leans back, Barry crawls in after him, smile on his lips. Being with Jason like this is... perfect. In so many ways and he's so glad that he likes the gift โ that he feels the same. Nosing at him, he hums a little before he ducks his head down and kisses behind Jason's ear, a hand smoothing along the other's side. ]
You're the perfect thing to me.
[ Still wearing that smile, he pulls back just enough to look down to him, soft brown eyes searching his face before he lets that smile gently brighten some, leaning in to steal a tender kiss. It's slow โ much like all of this right here is and he takes his time in letting his lips brush over Jason's, hands roaming freely over warm skin and just wanting to touch and feel him like this beneath his fingertips. ]
[ For someone who once told him he feels like he moves through moments too quickly and was worried about missing them, Barry has gotten incredibly good at slowing down, at taking his time with every little thing and making each and every moment last.
That's what this feels like, with the way Barry's hands slide over his skin so slowly that it feels like he's trying to memorize every last bit of him. Jason likes it, he melts into it, letting his hands drag down Barry's chest in the same way, then up his back as the other settles over him.
There's a lot that Jason likes to do quick and dirty, but there's nothing like these slow kisses that make Jason's head feel fuzzy with want and being wanted. Barry's so good at making Jason feel wanted. ]
Mmmm my favorite thing. You always make me feel so fucking full. Just another thing about you I love.
[ He isn't going to stop with that now, he hopes Barry knows. The flood gates are open, and Jason is such a secret goddamn romantic, he won't ever stop saying it. ]
[ Everything about them in this moment is gross in a cute way and Barry can't even find it within him to really care. He loves it โ loves Jason and everything that they have right here and will continue to have because he really does believe they will. They've come this far together โ understand each other in ways some might fail to see or comprehend. But they do and Barry can't be without him in his life. Not anymore.
The smile he wears is proof enough of how much this all means to him โ how much Jason means to him and he leans in to nuzzle at the crook of his neck again before he slowly begins to trail warm, open-mouthed kisses down that very same neck. Taking his time, humming as he goes. ]
Don't get me wanting to flip you over and take you from behind, baby.
[ Words he warmly breathes against Jason's skin, letting the tips of his fingers run down to the waistband of those pants. ]
[ It's the grossest Jason has ever been, and he fucking loves it. Wouldn't trade it in for anything. It feels crazy that he has all these things he wants now. Being Robin, being with Barry... it's the best he's ever had. Maybe all those dark, shitty days will finally be over. He feels like he's on the top of the world.
Jason smiles, letting his head fall back a bit as Barry nuzzles at his neck. He loves that spot, and he loves the way Barry's lips never hesitate to travel across every bit of skin.
His own hands continue moving down to the small of his back, drawing small circles until they dip down into his pants, grabbing at what he can. Fuck. Barry's driving him crazy. ]
Soft doesn't mean it has to be slow.
[ Jason lifts his head to look at Barry, blue eyes much darker with want now, feeling so in this moment that he knows anything would be good. As long as he's here with Barry, any fucking thing in the world would be good. ]
Fuck me. Flip me around and fuck me if you want to. Whatever you want, I want it too. Come on, you know you want to.
[ Jason's already got his soft and slow, and he feels well and thoroughly loved and wanted. He has everything he wants right now, so the encouraging glint in his eyes is just as true as the slow smirk that crosses his face. ]
[ The sound he makes when he feels those hands dip into his pants... pleased and appreciative at the same time, if the grin on his lips is anything to go by.
But then he goes and says what he does and Barry just huffs a laugh before he groans a little in frustration, albeit playfully. His head drops down to Jason's shoulder, lips brushing over warm bare skin there before they start to trail their way down the front of that chest. Lower. Lower. A little more lower as fingers start to undo the front of those pants.
Pausing, he looks up to him from where he is and leans up a little to rest on an arm. ]
I thought you wanted me to make love to you... not fuck you deep into the mattress.
[ Despite his asking, it's done in a light and playful way as he noses at Jason, lips brushing over his top one for a semi-kiss. ]
Though I guess with you being the birthday boy, I should just do as you say since it's your day today, hm?
[ Fuck, that sound turns him on so much, his hardon pressing against his pants, everything just all of a sudden too tight. His hand push just a little deeper, grabbing at Barry's ass as much as he can before those damn pants get in the way.
It's actually kinda crazy how slow they can go when they want each other this much, and Jason rocks his hips up against his lips, wanting to get closer, wanting Barry to free him of his own pants. ]
I feel like... you can tell me how much you love me while you fuck me deep into the mattress, and that'll pretty much be the same thing.
[ Jason laughs, letting his head fall back. He feels so free, so good, so happy. He brings it back in for that kiss, though, chasing after it so he can kiss Barry deeply again. ]
We've got all day. We can do whatever we want. You can have me however you want me.
[ Fingers tug down the front of those pants and he slips a hand inside, palming Jason's cock through his underwear as he drops kiss after kiss after kiss along his neck and shoulder. Just enjoying him like this and all the little sounds and movements he makes underneath him. Seeing how the necklace looks resting between Jason's collarbones, Barry finds himself smiling a little more warmly as he strokes the tips of his fingers across the face of it, leaning down to kiss around it. Slow. Soft. Sensual.
Pulling back, he watches Jason's face as he continues to palm him through his underwear, humming a little at how good it feels to have him so hard against his hand, knowing how bad he wants it. ]
How about I take you just like this then? So you can see how good you make me feel.
[ Jason lets out a slow, soft moan when Barry's hand presses against his cock, his body rocking up just a little to meet him there, hands still on his ass, squeezing at him just as slowly.
Barry's gonna drive him crazy with all these kisses, but it feels good to be this cared for. He thought maybe it would be overwhelming, but it isn't. He's feeling so incredibly good.
Jason smiles warmly when he kisses around the pendant so lovingly, his eyes bright and focused on Barry, but that hand of his rubbing at him is real distracting, and Jason bites at his lip, letting out another soft groan. ]
Yeah, baby. Wanna watch you. Love watching you. We can take it slow.
[ Barry can take it any way he wants to, as long as he's inside of him. Kinda of amazing though that Barry is the one getting him to slow down now- Jason can't help how eager he is for it, though. There are a lot of feelings bubbling up inside of him and he's finally getting the chance to let them out. ]
[ With the way Barry zips away from Jason suddenly, it's not even a full second before he's right back on top of him, hand down his pants and stroking him through his underwear again. In his other hand, however, is a bottle of lube that he holds up with a smile on his lips. Always needed, after all.
As he grips the bottle tight with his fingers, he starts to help Jason out of those pants, dragging them down slender legs and dropping off to the floor behind them. His underwear is next to go, Barry pressing a kiss to the other's hip before he's discarding those somewhere to the floor as well and fingers slip between those legs to press and tease over that eager little hole of his. ]
How โ I mean... [ Lips press against Jason's stomach, brown eyes flicking up to him as he continues to stroke that hole. ] ...are there things you've ever been curious about or have wanted to do?
[ Rolling his cheek to Jason's stomach, he presses the pad of his thumb at that hole and rubs slow circles there... while letting his thumb vibrate with how quick he moves his hand. ]
Like do you ever want to be handcuffed or blindfolded or have something that isn't my cock shoved up here?
[ Jason can only tell that Barry was away, because he's suddenly there with a bottle of lube, and it makes him laugh, warm in his chest. The perks of having a super speed boyfriend. There are so many perks when it comes to Barry.
He lifts his hips, helping to push his pants down, glad to finally be rid of them, and he's glad the underwear comes next, wasting no time between them. Jason's definitely eager as fuck, letting out a soft and happy fuck when those fingers are between his legs, rubbing at him.
He lets his hands slide over Barry's bare shoulders, up to his neck, one hand into his hair, but he tilts his head a little so he can get a better look at him. He opens his mouth to answer, but then Barry does that thing with his hand and Jason's head presses back against the mattress, letting out soft, breathy pants.]
Fuck... um... I've never really... There's no one I've really trusted enough to do any of that shit with so I've never really thought about it... fuck, that feels good.
[ Honestly though, who even needs a sex toy when Barry's already got such a skill? ]
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[ Maybe not here here exactly, but here with Barry in every other way. This is something he desperately wants to hold on to, despite how much he knows he fucks things up. He feels like he's getting better at it though, at least with Barry.
Jason tightens his legs around Barry as he starts to move, letting him leave all those kisses against his skin. It all makes him smile. He can't stop smiling, actually.
He figures Barry's room is all out in the open, and that's pretty cool too. Not like they have to lock doors here like he's used to doing in the manor. They have all the privacy they want here. It helps to make Jason even more comfortable with what he's asked for, because this really is just them.
He looks up at Barry when he's set down on the bed, his hands sliding to the other man's waist, just up under his shirt. The fact that Barry even realizes that even though Jason asked for it, it might still be overwhelming... it means a lot to Jason, and he knows he made the right decision with all of this. ]
I will.
[ Jason doesn't take his eyes off Barry as he moves down to his knees between his legs, his own hands sliding up along his shoulders, caressing up along his neck. ]
no subject
The smile he wears is still warm and soft as he looks up to Jason from between those legs. Fingers move slow and careful along the front of his shirt, dipping down to slip beneath the hem of it and let the tips of his fingers ghost along warm skin then beneath the material. Barry hums softly, just watching Jason as he lets his fingers explore him underneath that shirt. ]
Want me to take this off?
[ He keeps his voice soft โ low. Eyes never really straying from the birthday boy's face as he draws little patterns across his skin beneath his shirt, occasionally letting them drop to the waistband of those pants. ]
lol sorry for this jason dump of emotions in the middle of sexy tiems xD
It's an odd thing for him to ask for, really, but right now it's all he wants. With Barry it's all he wants. His boyfriend isn't wrong, though. It's fucking scary, and a lot to think about, so he doesn't really think about it. He just lets himself feel it, which is something he's better at. Better at, because he feels things so intensely, so readily. Doesn't mean that's always good. In this case, though, it very much is.
Feeling things has always been too much for Jason in general, but if he can focus it, funnel it into something good instead of fucked up and angry, then... there's this.
Jason knows he doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve a lot of what he has, but he's a survivor, and sometimes that means taking things he doesn't deserve, otherwise what'll happen to him? He'll waste away. He doesn't want to waste away. He wants to fit. He wants to belong. He wants to be loved. He sure as shit knows he's terrible at loving back, but... he's trying. He's trying so hard.
Barry makes it so much easier.
Jason can't take his fiery blue eyes off of Barry, sucking his lower lip into his mouth as the other man's hands travel up under his shirt, along his skin. He nods, lifting his hands from Barry's shoulders so he can take his shirt off, a soft smile on his face at the way Barry asks. Such a damn turn on. ]
You can take it off.
i'm just gonna have to raise you one
When the ok is given in removing his shirt, Barry smiles with a slow nod and goes about helping him out of it. There's no rush to peel it off, bunch it up, and throw it off to the side. Rather, he takes his time in how he pulls it up over Jason's head and peels the thing off him, chuckling softly at the way it messes his hair up a bit. Oops. Then again, it sort of leaves him looking a lot cuter than he usually is and Barry finds he can't bring himself to fix it up. Not yet at least.
Instead, he hums a little hum of amusement and leans in to kiss him. Slow. Soft. Just as Jason wants all of this to be.
He keeps there between those legs, hands smoothing their way slowly up and down those thighs he loves to be between. Letting his lips brush over Jason's in a kiss that, in some ways, never feels as if it's going to end, but when it does, it's with a gentle nip to his lower one, Barry huffing the softest of laughs as he bumps his forehead to Jason's.
It's in that quiet there that Barry finds himself just staring to Jason, hands still slow in their movements along his thighs, but brown eyes never seeming to stray from those blue ones and he lets go of a breath he hasn't even realized he's been holding until now. ]
Hey... [ The word barely a whisper there so close against those lips, Barry lets his gaze linger on Jason for a beat of a heart before he's smiling. Soft and warm. ] ...I kinda love you.
[ A gentle confession whispered feather-soft, he noses at Jason with an at first shy expression before it warms to something more hopeful and tender. Licking over his lips, he chuckles. Quiet. A brief duck of his head before he's pressing a kiss to the sharp edge of Jason's jaw, looking up to him through dark lashes. ]
If that's ok for me to say.
JESUUUSSS. okay yeah, you win?? maybe??
Somehow he made it work, and he still can't believe it. He's pretty sure it was all Barry that made this work anyway, and he somehow just slotted himself into the right parts, the right cracks.
There are still so many ways he can slip out, unravel, dislodge. But lately? He hasn't exactly been feeling that way. He feels like maybe this fits. It actually fits somehow, with someone he never would have dreamed of fitting with.
It's so good, the way Barry isn't in a rush and takes his time, even with lifting Jason's shirt off of him. He smiles when Barry chuckles at him, shaking his head slightly as his own hands fall back down into Barry's hair, messing it up a little too. Only fair, and Barry looks just as fucking cute with messy hair as he does.
He could kiss Barry like this for hours, drawing out each lick of lips, each taste into that mouth of his. None of this feels forced, or like something Barry is just giving him because Jason asked him for it. It feels more real than anything he's ever had before, and Jason wants to tell him that somehow, but he doesn't know how. As their foreheads bump together, Jason's hands slide to Barry's face, eyes locked with his.
Jason wants to take this moment in. Everything quiet and soft and gentle about it. He feels like he might never have this again, and there's this kind of warmth laced with pain that washes over him. He wants this. He wants it so badly. He doesn't want to think that he might never have it again after this moment. It's such a stupid thought in the midst of this, because Barry is with him, he wants him, he's here with him.
And then.
And then those words.
They catch Jason so off guard that the uncertainty flickers hard in his eyes before he can even think to stop it. Before he can think to close it all off.
He shifts his face away from Barry's tender kisses, and yet his fingers curl a little harder in the other man's hair, because... because... he doesn't want Barry to pull away, even if he has to pull away from Barry.]
What do you mean?
[ what a fucking stupid question. he's such a goddamn idiot. ]
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So he's quiet as he stares to Jason, hands coming to still on those thighs and, instead, lets the pads of his thumbs rub slow and gentle circles there, keeping himself connected to Jason ins some physical way. ]
I... mean I kinda love you.
[ A beat, he licks over his lips, laughter just barely leaving his lips as he ducks his head. ]
That I'm kinda in love with you.
[ He lets himself look up to Jason then, feeling he both needs and deserves that so as not to think that Barry himself is shrinking away. Rather, he smiles, still warm, eyes as soft as they've ever really been.
Coming to lean against one of those legs, he hums a bit as his gaze drops, watching the way his thumb continues to rub circles on the inside of that thigh before he's biting the inside of his cheek in thought and he's looking back up to Jason. Eyes still warmly soft. ]
I think I have been for awhile now and I just... wanted to tell you.
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He almost laughs because he doesn't even know what he's berating himself for right now. It's just a thing he falls back to so naturally, like some fucked up defense mechanism.
Except this time he has a legit anchor to hold on to. Something to ground him. The caustic words he wants to throw at Barry to make him stop saying such nice things to him just aren't there, drifting away in the spaces between the two of them, that Jason's been so sure would be filled with poison and dirt, and...
and this is what he's wanted to say. The feelings and expressions, and the way this is more real than anything he's ever had before. This is what he's wanted to say, but didn't know how. Maybe didn't even feel like he was worthy enough to say it.
Barry doesn't pull back or recoil at his uncertainty. He keeps pushing on, pushing forward, looking at Jason like this isn't something he's going to back away from, no matter what kinda shit Jason pulls, and Jason knows. He knows this is what he's been trying to figure out. ]
I love you too.
[ He says firmly, before letting out a very shaky breath. Fuck. Fuck. His eyes find Barry's again after he realizes he's looked away. He doesn't want to be away. He wants this. ]
I'm in love with you too.
[ It's the scariest thing he's ever said in his entire life. ]
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That is, if Barry didn't have the utmost faith in Jason and this moment right here between them.
Because Jason finally comes to speak and Barry listens. Completely. Smile slowly tugging at the corners of his lips in a way that becomes more than soft but bright and blinding in a way that only Barry can somehow seem to do. Jason's words touch him a way that makes him feel lighter and even if he wanted to, he can't wipe that smile off his face.
Jason feels the same. He's said so himself and Barry just feels... happy. So very happy.
Wanting to shower Jason in that happiness, he leans up and kisses him, humming brightly against his lips as he does so and he nearly pushes the birthday boy back against the bed before he comes to pull back, licking over his lips as he does. ]
I wanted to tell you before I gave you this.
[ It's then that he reaches under the bed for a small box that looks the sort to typically hold jewelry in it what with being crushed velvet and black. Holding it out for Jason โ because it's for him โ he nods, gesturing for him to open it. ]
I thought it might... make more sense if I told you.
[ Because inside the crushed velvet box and resting on a black satin cushion is a necklace with the letter R and a lightning bolt through it. Not too reminiscent of their respective symbols in the sense of being carbon copies laced together, but. Familiar enough in their own way. At least between the two of them. ]
Happy birthday.
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When Jason admits how he feels, at first it feels like... it feels like falling, his stomach dropping out from under him. But Barry is there.
The slow that seems to stretch is filled with Barry's smiles, and kisses, and this sense of relief that overtakes that falling feeling like a goddamn waterfall of emotions. Good emotions, and Jason doesn't know why he's frowning. He doesn't know why he's sitting here acting like this is some kind of detrimental fault, when it's so good. It's happiness. Barry loves him.
Barry's in love with him, and it's happiness, and the feeling in his stomach dissipates, the tension in his shoulders uncurling, and his expression turns lighter, arms catching around Barry as he nearly pushes him back against the bed, laughing softly into the kiss. ]
There's more?
[ Jason looks at him incredulously, especially when Barry holds the box out to him. There's another confused look that passes over Jason's face, but it's not as intensely chaotic as it was before, because he takes the box from Barry and opens it up, and... Barry is really working hard to short circuit him, isn't he.
Jason lets out a soft breath, lips parted in surprise as he runs his fingers over the necklace. Their symbols, intertwined. Jason smiles, pressing his arms over his eyes because fuck. He's gonna lose his shit over here. ]
Fuck, Barry.
[ he laughs, his voice coming out a little watery, but he moves his arm, dragging it across his eyes, because he wants to look at Barry. this is too damn important. ]
This is us, huh.
[The two of them. Together. ]
Will you help me put it on?
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It allows him to be thoughtful in moments like these.
Fingers rub at his boyfriend's knees and he smiles as he watches his expression carefully. He hadn't been too worried that Jason wouldn't like it, but. He also hadn't wanted to assume anything and also it was why he felt the need to explain with a confession so as not to have Jason feeling confused or be one to sending mixed signals to him; they've already done that song and dance with miscommunication before.
So when Jason asks him to help him put it on, Barry smiles, warm and loving, and nods as he reaches up for the box and the piece of jewelry that's essentially them twined together. ]
Here, let me see.
[ Leaning up some, he unhooks the backing and drapes the necklace around Jason's bare chest, leaning over him as he locks the clasp in place at the nape of his neck, fingers gently stroking down a moment after. Pulling back, he adjusts it some against Jason's chest and smile as he goes back onto his knees, head tilting as he admires the piece.
Looking up then with those soft brown eyes, he smiles again. ]
There. Right where it belongs.
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It's hard to imagine that anyone could feel this way about him, though, but if there's one thing he isn't going to do, it's doubt his boyfriend. Of course he doesn't doubt him, when Barry is so fucking thoughtful, making him feel special in ways he's never felt before.
Jason runs his finger over the pendant once more, before he hands it over to Barry to let him help put it on. He smiles brightly when it's hooked around his neck, hanging down against his chest. It feels good.
He looks at Barry, just taking in the warm expression on his face for a moment before he leans in to kiss him, fingers brushing against his cheek.]
I'm never taking it off. I love it. I love you.
[ It's a little easier this time, and Jason follows it up with another kiss, deep and slow, wanting Barry to feel just how much he really does love him. ]
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When kissed, he sighs. Happy. Drinking it up with just as much warmth and tenderness to it as Jason himself gives to him. It's so easy to, he thinks, and he also thinks Jason should give himself more credit for his worth and what he deserves in this life... from him.
Cradling the side of his face with a hand, Barry hums a pleased little sound against those lips and pulls back just enough to bump his forehead with his own, eyes fluttering open as that smile stays there on his lips. ]
I'd say this was a pretty good birthday then. If I got you something you're never going to take off.
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He thought maybe the best he'd get was a date, but Barry trusted him and went with him, and now they have this.
Jason's happy, letting the warmth he feels push out any lingering doubt he might have about himself away, chasing all of Barry's smiles with more kisses. ]
Best birthday I've ever had.
[ People say that all the time, but for Jason it's true. This is the best anything he's ever had. ]
But just so you know, I've got something I hope you're always gonna take off too, though.
[ He grins, waggling an eyebrow at his boyfriend. ]
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Well I'd kinda hope you'd always like it to come off.
[ Running his tongue along his lower lip, he huffs a laugh and pulls back enough to be able to tug his own shirt off, pulling it up and over his shoulders, only to drop it down to the floor beside him. Still a little hairy on the chest there, muscles become taut across his arms as he leans on them, hands flat on either side of Jason there on the bed, Barry humming with a playful little grin on his lips as he stares to the other. Stares to his boyfriend. ]
Is it ok if we just stay in bed for a couple hours? I know I need to show you around, but... [ He chuckles softly, necking at Jason with little pecks of his lips. ] ...kinda want to not share you with the world for a little bit.
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I mean, it's all yours, really.
[ His hands move quickly to Barry's bare chest when his shirt comes off, wanting nothing more than to feel him under his fingers. He leans back to give Barry more room to move over him, hand sliding to his neck to brush his thumb along the spot just under his ear. ]
It's real fucking okay. Nothing I want more than that. As long as you're here with me, whatever we do is the perfect thing.
[ Jason feels the best kind of warmth at the thought of Barry wanting him here all to himself. That's what he wants too. Just the two of them, intertwined for as long as they want to be. ]
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You're the perfect thing to me.
[ Still wearing that smile, he pulls back just enough to look down to him, soft brown eyes searching his face before he lets that smile gently brighten some, leaning in to steal a tender kiss. It's slow โ much like all of this right here is and he takes his time in letting his lips brush over Jason's, hands roaming freely over warm skin and just wanting to touch and feel him like this beneath his fingertips. ]
You feel even more perfect when I'm inside you.
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That's what this feels like, with the way Barry's hands slide over his skin so slowly that it feels like he's trying to memorize every last bit of him. Jason likes it, he melts into it, letting his hands drag down Barry's chest in the same way, then up his back as the other settles over him.
There's a lot that Jason likes to do quick and dirty, but there's nothing like these slow kisses that make Jason's head feel fuzzy with want and being wanted. Barry's so good at making Jason feel wanted. ]
Mmmm my favorite thing. You always make me feel so fucking full. Just another thing about you I love.
[ He isn't going to stop with that now, he hopes Barry knows. The flood gates are open, and Jason is such a secret goddamn romantic, he won't ever stop saying it. ]
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The smile he wears is proof enough of how much this all means to him โ how much Jason means to him and he leans in to nuzzle at the crook of his neck again before he slowly begins to trail warm, open-mouthed kisses down that very same neck. Taking his time, humming as he goes. ]
Don't get me wanting to flip you over and take you from behind, baby.
[ Words he warmly breathes against Jason's skin, letting the tips of his fingers run down to the waistband of those pants. ]
We're supposed to take it slow, remember?
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Jason smiles, letting his head fall back a bit as Barry nuzzles at his neck. He loves that spot, and he loves the way Barry's lips never hesitate to travel across every bit of skin.
His own hands continue moving down to the small of his back, drawing small circles until they dip down into his pants, grabbing at what he can. Fuck. Barry's driving him crazy. ]
Soft doesn't mean it has to be slow.
[ Jason lifts his head to look at Barry, blue eyes much darker with want now, feeling so in this moment that he knows anything would be good. As long as he's here with Barry, any fucking thing in the world would be good. ]
Fuck me. Flip me around and fuck me if you want to. Whatever you want, I want it too. Come on, you know you want to.
[ Jason's already got his soft and slow, and he feels well and thoroughly loved and wanted. He has everything he wants right now, so the encouraging glint in his eyes is just as true as the slow smirk that crosses his face. ]
I'm yours.
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But then he goes and says what he does and Barry just huffs a laugh before he groans a little in frustration, albeit playfully. His head drops down to Jason's shoulder, lips brushing over warm bare skin there before they start to trail their way down the front of that chest. Lower. Lower. A little more lower as fingers start to undo the front of those pants.
Pausing, he looks up to him from where he is and leans up a little to rest on an arm. ]
I thought you wanted me to make love to you... not fuck you deep into the mattress.
[ Despite his asking, it's done in a light and playful way as he noses at Jason, lips brushing over his top one for a semi-kiss. ]
Though I guess with you being the birthday boy, I should just do as you say since it's your day today, hm?
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It's actually kinda crazy how slow they can go when they want each other this much, and Jason rocks his hips up against his lips, wanting to get closer, wanting Barry to free him of his own pants. ]
I feel like... you can tell me how much you love me while you fuck me deep into the mattress, and that'll pretty much be the same thing.
[ Jason laughs, letting his head fall back. He feels so free, so good, so happy. He brings it back in for that kiss, though, chasing after it so he can kiss Barry deeply again. ]
We've got all day. We can do whatever we want. You can have me however you want me.
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Pulling back, he watches Jason's face as he continues to palm him through his underwear, humming a little at how good it feels to have him so hard against his hand, knowing how bad he wants it. ]
How about I take you just like this then? So you can see how good you make me feel.
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Barry's gonna drive him crazy with all these kisses, but it feels good to be this cared for. He thought maybe it would be overwhelming, but it isn't. He's feeling so incredibly good.
Jason smiles warmly when he kisses around the pendant so lovingly, his eyes bright and focused on Barry, but that hand of his rubbing at him is real distracting, and Jason bites at his lip, letting out another soft groan. ]
Yeah, baby. Wanna watch you. Love watching you. We can take it slow.
[ Barry can take it any way he wants to, as long as he's inside of him. Kinda of amazing though that Barry is the one getting him to slow down now- Jason can't help how eager he is for it, though. There are a lot of feelings bubbling up inside of him and he's finally getting the chance to let them out. ]
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As he grips the bottle tight with his fingers, he starts to help Jason out of those pants, dragging them down slender legs and dropping off to the floor behind them. His underwear is next to go, Barry pressing a kiss to the other's hip before he's discarding those somewhere to the floor as well and fingers slip between those legs to press and tease over that eager little hole of his. ]
How โ I mean... [ Lips press against Jason's stomach, brown eyes flicking up to him as he continues to stroke that hole. ] ...are there things you've ever been curious about or have wanted to do?
[ Rolling his cheek to Jason's stomach, he presses the pad of his thumb at that hole and rubs slow circles there... while letting his thumb vibrate with how quick he moves his hand. ]
Like do you ever want to be handcuffed or blindfolded or have something that isn't my cock shoved up here?
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He lifts his hips, helping to push his pants down, glad to finally be rid of them, and he's glad the underwear comes next, wasting no time between them. Jason's definitely eager as fuck, letting out a soft and happy fuck when those fingers are between his legs, rubbing at him.
He lets his hands slide over Barry's bare shoulders, up to his neck, one hand into his hair, but he tilts his head a little so he can get a better look at him. He opens his mouth to answer, but then Barry does that thing with his hand and Jason's head presses back against the mattress, letting out soft, breathy pants.]
Fuck... um... I've never really... There's no one I've really trusted enough to do any of that shit with so I've never really thought about it... fuck, that feels good.
[ Honestly though, who even needs a sex toy when Barry's already got such a skill? ]
I'd try new shit though... with you. I trust you.
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dw cockblocking us again, i see ๐ค
smh dw
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